Death Baseball and Hope

Play Ball - Live Life!

Most of us who read this small blog are facing challenging times or know someone personally that is. It’s all around us. In many ways there are all kinds of death scenes everyday. --Hardship everywhere.

Yet in death and dying experiences as well as in living experiences it does not have to be the end of the story. It can be a new beginning.

I just read a story about a guy named Fred Everhard and how he changed a death experience of a baseball field into a renewing of hearts and lives in the midst of the worse economic times for a community.

It’s a small town of just 5000. Yet it can be a motivation for us all. Yes all of us.. Those who are grieving the death of a loved one to those who are struggling big time with financial debt and problems.

For those that are grieving, the pain of loss and loneliness is tremendous after that special person has died. We can feel emotionally, spiritually and socially bankrupted – perhaps even spiritually depleted. That is understandable. In grief there is a process of tasks and experiences that one must go through in the life long grief recovering process. In the beginning it feels like it will never end and there is no hope.

There is HOPE, there is a bright future if you really want one. Your loved ones, yes even those who have died, love you so much that they would also want you to have hope also.

For those who are experiencing the various losses due to economic struggle don’t give up hope. The only time you are REALLY bankrupt is when you give up hope and love.

So I’m enclosing this remarkable story as a hope and prayer for all of us. May we apply the spirit and determination to work for our dreams. These dreams and goals may come face to face with difficulties at first and few if anyone there to support the dreams. No matter – hold on to them. Keep them going at all cost.

YOU CAN DO IT! You are doing it by having the dream in the first place. It will grow and in its perfect time will flourish. Trust and it will come to reality at the most perfect of moments – the moment it is meant to be in and shared.

It is not until the umpire yells “Play Ball” that the game beings. It is when we in all our determination we cry out “Live Life!” that we are in the game and winning the greatest home run of all -- Fullness of Life and the achievement of our dreams and goals.

Dr. Terrie Modesto
Thanatologist
http://www.drterriemodesto.com/
http://www.tearcenter.com/

Not Just Another Town

Fred Everhart read the mail and felt sick. What would the kids do? Fred, head of the recreation commission, experienced what many American towns and committees felt - loss of funds.

Greenfield, Ohio, population 5000, just another town reliant on the auto industry. Five hundred jobs (70% of the town's industrial employment) would be gone by October 2009. In Willington, the nearest town, DHL Express announced it was pulling out, leaving another 8,000 employees without work. Due to the economic downturn, Greenfield lost fifty percent of the money budgeted to run the city.

The economy didn't factor in people like Fred Everhart. In January, 2009, Fred called a meeting. Twenty-five to thirty angry parents showed up. The anger and frustration prevented productivity. The parents understood their own hardship, but how could a city face the same?

Fred, not to be beaten, called a second meeting. Nine people attended - The Gang of Nine. Together, they convinced the town to give them $5,000.00 of the $20,000.00 budgeted for little league baseball.

Greenfield had only one ballpark, which it could no longer afford to maintain. The "Gang of Nine" convinced the city to give the park to them. Fred posted an advertisement in the local paper a few weeks before opening day - Memorial Day - volunteers needed.

On that Saturday morning, Fred arrived at 9 A.M. Only two others waited. They looked out over the field. A small breeze picked up a piece of paper and sent it tumbling over the barren field. The grass was uncut. Holes surrounded the bases, dug into the dirt by last season's players. Water rimmed home plate.

Fred looked at his two companions, "Looks like it's just us." He surveyed the field. "Where's the flag?" He frowned, "For that matter, where's the flag pole?"

"It blew down five years ago." One of his companions said. "They couldn't afford to replace it."

"No matter," Fred said, "Let's get to work."

They pulled their mowers, shovels, and rakes from their trucks and began to work. At 9:30 A.M. another truck pulled into the parking lot. Behind it, trailing dust, were more cars and trucks. They soon had fifty to sixty men, women and children working. The small army mowed the grass, painted dugouts, patched the fields and mended fences.

A local newspaper picked up their efforts and printed a story. The "Gang of Nine's" efforts symbolized the strength of community and was picked up by national media. Fred was overwhelmed with emails, letters, and donations from around the country. They came from Hawaii to Vermont. One lady called from Illinois. She'd lived through the depression and knew what it was like to go without. She didn't want the kids to do the same. A few days later, Fred received a check for $500.00 from her.

Baseballs arrived. Twenty-four dozen came in one delivery from New Orleans. Donations of equipment arrived from individuals and little leagues in Pennsylvania and Illinois.

The league was featured on "Good Morning America". They received more equipment from the major baseball leagues, and the Cincinnati Reds invited the entire Greenfield league to see a game at "Great American Ballpark" in Cincinnati.

Fred wasn't done. He spoke to members of the "Concerned Veterans of Greenfield". Their bylaws prohibited them donating money, but they donated a flagpole and a flag.

Fred spoke to a stone mason, Jay Hardy, owner of Hardy Memorials. Fred wanted to do something in return to the veterans. Jay agreed to donate his work to those who fought then and now. Fred expected a small plaque, but one morning, Jay pulled into the parking lot with a section of marble three feet, by two feet, by two inches. The flagpole and monument where mounted in cement.

The league made concessions: only one new baseball per game; the scoreboard and lights remained dark; and restrooms were locked, replaced with portable toilets.

Four hundred and fifty children, ages five through sixteen, signed up to complete forty-seven teams. On opening day, Fred and his gang surveyed the field once again. Fred remembers one thing - sounds. He listened to the laughter of children, the crack of bats against balls, and above it all, the snapping of the flag blowing in the wind.

A call for silence - the national anthem played and the plaque was dedicated to the veterans.

"Play ball!" The umpire yelled.

The season was on.

On July 3, 2009, the last game was played. The last ball was struck. The last game of the season came to an end. The players, parents, coaches, and umpires left the field. The last breath of wind rolled a hotdog wrapper over the infield. The sun dropped below the horizon. The light of day faded. The stars and stripes gave a final wave in the dying wind. It hung limp against the pole - vigilant - waiting for another season. One could imagine the sound of a bugler playing, signaling the end of the day, the end of a season.

The economy caused problems around the globe, but in Greenfield, it was beaten - Greenfield, not just another town.

Michael T. Smith
Michael Smith has authored hundreds of great stories. To read more of his stories, go to: http://ourecho.com/biography-353-Michael-Timothy-Smith.shtml#stories To sign up for his stories go to: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?m=1101828445578&p=oi

I originally read this story at Insight Of Today by Bob Proctor
insightoftheday.com

Pastors Funeral Directors and Cemeterians Together ...OH MY!

I was reading a posting on Funeral Directors & Embalmers Facebook Group that a funeral director named David Finch from Inland Empire, CA wrote that he had taken a Cantor out to a nice lunch and it seemed very profitable for him. I was delighted to know that a funeral director was reaching out o the faith based community leadership. I hope that what I wrote back will be inspiring to others and encourage them to reach out to the clergy as well.

Here is what I wrote:

I did my doctoral dissertation on collegiality between funeral directors and clergy, the study is called Beyond The Funeral: Mutual Ministry Between Primary Thanostic Care Providers. Primary Thanostic Care Providers are clergy, funeral directors and cemeterians. Research shows that funeral directors are more likely to initiate a professional and / or social relationship with clergy than the other way around. Research also indicated that it’s very beneficial in establishing strong collegial (professional - social) relationships with the clergy.

Funeral Directors have a great deal of knowledge that can be of help and support to pastoral leadership. A very important study shows that in general clergy have only 5 clock hours (not academic course credit hours) of professional thanatological / death related education from the time they enter seminary until they retire from the pulpit. Additionally surveys show that over 43% of the pastor’s time is affected directly or indirectly with death related issues.

I conduct a 1 day local symposium most often hosted by funeral directors called Bridging The Pain Of Grief ~ Death Care Ministry Symposium which offers an opportunity for clergy, funeral directors and cemeterians to come together professionally for a day of continuing education and collegial support. I’m always amazed at the comments I receive. For many clergy and funeral directors who work together in serving the needs of the grieving for years (sometimes even for decades), they have never shared a single educational event together or really spent a day listening to the issues and concerns that both have. So much can be achieved by funeral directors and clergy by spending time together.

I watch the interactions between funeral directors and clergy at the symposiums I give and very often it is the funeral director who starts the conversations at the table particularly in the morning. It is also frequently the funeral director who will start the greeting and introduction even while in line for coffee or at the registration table. The clergy are really stressed out when they arrive at the event. Watching the body language is so interesting. By the end of the day there is a great deal of comfortable conversation going on and collegiality that has been developed.

To follow up on the statement about clergy death anxiety, another study shows that clergy have the second highest death anxiety rates of all professionals studied. The highest was a surgeon who had experienced the death of a patient on the operating table within last 72 hours. The surgeon’s fear was based on concern of litigation and powerlessness to save the person they were taking care of.

Clergy were excellent in the study at taking a paper and pen test and ranked in the lowest levels of death anxiety according to their cognitive answers. HOWEVER when they were given a sensate test that registers their blood pressure, skin moisture, heart rate, the eye’s pupil dilation and constriction to show the physiological reaction to words and picture related to death (a highly accurate way to test) clergy were almost off scale in anxiety.

It is believed that clergy are really great at taking tests and surveys since much of their early years are related to school and taking test taking. They have become masters at taking a test.

Many clergy have developed for themselves professionally theological or spiritual concepts and speeches they can easily share with the public that comply with their religious tradition or denominational tenants. Many have the traditional ‘elevator speech’ about death and their religious faith.

However, personally clergy have the same issues as everyone else when it comes to death but feel compelled to non-disclose their concerns for fear of appearing weak or unfaithful to their beliefs in front of their congregations or even to themselves. Other studies show that many clergy are no where near the death bed of a congregant for approximately the last 90 hours before death occurs. Most clergy will not touch the remains of the deceased. Some pastors who have been in ministry over 10 years have never touched the remains of a deceased person. It is speculated that many clergy prefer to pour sand on the casket instead of the possibility of touching the casket in some manner during the burial.

When one reflects on the religious traditions and funeral ritualization it is interesting to see how often some of the clergy can avoid physical nearness to death. Consider the fact that clergy walk in front of the casket (clergy does not have to look at the casket) to the burial location as just one example.

Sorry I hope I have not rambled on too much on the subject. Get a gal who’s both a pastoral thanatologist and an ordained minister charged up and often I don’t know when to step down off my soap box! J

Thank you Dave for taking the Cantor to lunch and for sharing your experience with us. You were very creative going Japanese with reference to the needs of being kosher. Very sensitive and respectful on your part. Would love for you to be on a panel along with the Cantor at one of my symposiums, it would be so interesting and insightful. Way to go!

Dr. Terrie Modesto
Chief Thanatologist
TEAR Center
http://www.tearcenter.com/
www.drterriemodeto.com.
http://deathdyingbereavementgr.blogspot.com/

Swine Flu- Community Outreach and the Funeral Director

My father died of bulbar polio in the epidemic in Boston in 1959. He was the last one to die of the dreaded disease in an iron-lung machine. I remember the large dome glass device placed over my dad’s casket. I was only 3 years old when he died. I don’t remember much about the funeral but I do remember that.

As a Critical Incident Thanatologist I know the impact a pandemic can heave on a community. It is so important to be mindful of safety practices that will not only protect you but your loved ones as well. As part of the health related profession we also need to be mindful of the elderly especially during a medical crisis such as swine flu.

With flu season just around the bend for North America, I’m wondering what sort of community outreach funeral homes are doing to help promote healthy living especially for the most risky of community members such as elderly, children and those with auto-immune disease.

I teach a number of courses on critical incident thanatology and prevention outreach is one of the two most important components in helping to reduce the risk of influenza infection. The other preventative precaution is washing your hands frequently.

I’d like to suggest to funeral homes and funeral directors that you consider having a flu shot event at your funeral home. Contact all the families you have served for the past 3 or even 5 years and invite them and the community at large to a flu shot and health fair screening where you serve some cookies and punch / coffee / tea as they wait their turn for their flu shot and hand out information cards that gives instruction on how to deal with seasonal and swine flu protection.

If you are interested I have authored a children’s activity and coloring book on influenza instruction that you could pass out to children as they wait for their flu shot. It’s very inexpensive and you can download the program and print copies from your computer.

I also have a half day family health awareness day program that helps families and the community at large prepare for medical emergencies such as an influenza pandemic. If you are interested please contact me at the TEAR Center (www.tearcenter.com) and we can discuss you offering one in your local community. You can either take the online distant learning training program and conduct the event yourself or you can arrange for the TEAR Center to offer it on your behalf at your funeral home location as well as offer a symposium on community outreach and the funeral director. I encourage everyone to ‘think outside the casket’ in serving the communities you live in.

The more places we can establish for people to get their influenza shots this fall the better. Your health department can help you with the dispensing of the flu shots. It should cost you very little (printing cost for flyers, info handout sheets for those on a very strict budget). Since the health department and health insurance companies (including Medicare in the US) cover much of the expense for the vaccination you would not be having to help offset the cost of the shots.

Since it is a community event that you do not economically profit directly from this event you could also ask to get a Pubic Service Announcement (PSA) made on the radio and TV. This provides a wellness opportunity for the public as well as great PR for your funeral home. Media coverage is expensive and this would be free for you.

Having a flu shot event can help many a family and also help you with a community outreach program. It’s unique to think that a funeral home is trying to prevent deaths and life threatening illnesses and encourage healthy living. The local media and even possibly the national media might very well be interested in covering this sort of event.

I know what its like to live my entire life not knowing my father because he received the polio vaccine incorrectly while in the Navy on ship. Please do all you can so other kids won’t have to grow up without a loved one due to not getting a vaccine that can help battle a pandemic.

Thank you!

Dr. Terrie Modesto

Chief Thanatologist

TEAR Center

http://www.tearcenter.com/

http://www.drterriemodeto.com/.

http://deathdyingbereavementgr.blogspot.com/

How come some people hate funeral directors?

Why do some people hate Funeral Directors? It is a question that was recently asked of me. It is a very good question. There are so many components to this question. Here are just a few of the various components.

DEATH SCARES

To start to answer that question one needs to remember that death scares the inner core of many people. They react intensely to those that they attach that death phobic irrational fear to.
DEATH AS MYSTERY

I know that death is a mystery and what happens after the last breath is unknown. For some people outside of faith and the science of decomposition it can be a very disturbing thought.

DEATH & SURVUVAL

For some folks they have come to understand it for themselves and that’s great. For others the fear is so intense because they associate it with survival. It is like the moth being attracted to the flame sort of thing with some folks.

FEAR OF DYING – DEAR OF DEATH

o People are so afraid of dying and the process of dying that they also attach it to the issue of death as well.. – thus they become afraid of both. Two very different experiences but individuals who are afraid tend to lump it into one big emotional ball. Death and dying is one thing to them and it is all about fear.

THE UNKNOWN IS UNSETTLING

o The unknown is terrifying for some. These individuals have not even looked at nor broken down the myths they have heard or pictures they have seen of dying and death. Few ever develop their own ideas on the subject. One needs to remember that any part of the topic of death scares some to the point of attaching death phobic irrational fear not only the experience of dying and death but also to those who are professionals in that arena of service.
FEAR & HATE

So how does all this relate to the dislike or downright hostility to funeral directors?

There are individuals that are resentful of those that have a professional career in the death industry. Those that have a distain for the funeral profession also want their loved ones AND THEMSELVES taken care of when they die or are dying BUT there is also resentment that someone is making a living from that service.

In some ways it goes back to the strife and divide that occurred between funeral directors and clergy centuries ago and lingers on today. Some of the clergy even today get disgruntled at funeral directors for having a comfortable life from dealing with the death issue while many of the clergy are known to make rather modest or limited incomes.

The Funeral Director is looked upon as the under-takers - the death labors who enter into and associate with the dirty disease and death side of death while getting compensated. The clergy are on the other hand not getting the economic compensation enjoyed by the funeral director BUT are getting the emotional accolades and affirmation of being close to God and the heaven connection. Both are seen as being very powerful groups of professionals. There has been and continues to be a major strife in some sectors between these two MAJOR primary thanostic care providers for many centuries.

I do whole lectures, symposiums and workshops on this topic and in fact did my entire dissertation and research study on this subject. For many who are having a love-hate issue with funeral directors it is because of the issue that the funeral director has a way to create the image that the dead look like they are still alive by embalming, makeup etc. On a subconscious level some people see funeral directors as having a power over death - death that they are terrified beyond all measure to deal with.

To top it off, the funeral director has beautiful surroundings of crisp, clean, lovely clothing, well presented appearance, fancy cars and limos, and a beautiful funeral home. They also contrast that with the fear of death and the negative associations with death. The emotions intensify on a large scale. For many with conflicted emotions, they want a notable profession addressing issues of mourning and bereavement. They also want their dead loved ones to live again and they see the funeral director has the power of both.

So this mix-master of images, emotions, thanostic economics, thanostic mythology and the pain of loss and grief when a loved one dies becomes a hostile stew for some people. There will be those that will never unpack the stew. It’s a profession of love and hate.

Hope this helps. This is a VERY complex topic to put it mildly.

What does YOUR Funeral Home Sign Say?

Funeral Home signage has historically and still is an import thanostic (death related) educational tool as well as thanostic art for the community to help better understand issues related to the death and bereavement experience. Often people think of their funeral home signage as merely a marketing item to help in identifying the location of the funeral home. In the past and yes even today the funeral home signage is a means of helping to teach the community at large about the attitude and services provided at the funeral home.

For example a depiction of nature such as a flower, leaf or stream can help the community understand that death is a part of nature. While a Personalized monogram of the funeral home can help generate the sense of long-term stability and personal service. Another example would be a helping hand that can convey the caring presence of a funeral home.

It is so important to know what your signage is saying to the community that passes by the sign all the time 24/7/365. It is not just the sign but also what is around it and how it is anchored to the ground. Signage art use was intended initially help those that could not read know what professional services were offered at a particular business location. Now a sign has much more meaning than ever before since it is not only for those with reading handicaps.

What does your sign say about YOUR funeral home?

Saying Goodbye To A Co-Worker

When a co-worker dies

I was saddened by the news that Walter Cronkite, one of the great contributors to journalism had died. He was an exceptional and honorable reporter, news anchor and honest friend to the world.

In reading about his funeral arrangements I learned that he will have a private funeral at St. Bartholomew’s Episcopal Church in New York City and then be buried in Missouri next to his wife. Cronkite seemed to want to balance things so there was always fairness. Even in death his desire for balanced fairness in having a time for personal mourning and public mourning is being reflected.

When a co-worker dies it is important for the professional / employment community to take time to join together to grieve the death and loss of one of their members. It is important that this be done as a community. Often co-workers will attend the personal funeral tribute a family will have for their parent / child / partner / spouse etc. This is an event this is important to attend. It is also important to have an event for those that worked along side the person who has died that is specific to the life the deceased had with their work community. This event does not have to be elaborate, just meaningful.

When reflecting upon it, a major portion of our day and life is involved with the profession / work we do. At least 8 hours a day if not more is assigned to our work. That is a third of every day. Often we spend more of our non-sleep hours with co-workers and work-tasks than we do within the confines of our personal relationships.

Frequently we develop strong professional bonds with our collogues and co-workers. They may be the first people we tell the good news of a promotion or raise with. They may be the ones we tell the bad news to when we have to work late AGAIN on a Friday night or all day Saturday to get a project out on time.

Keeping balance in both the professional work life and our personal lives is important throughout our life. It is also important to have that same balance as we grieve the death of a co-worker and collogue.

Until our next visit together ~ Enjoy Life!

Doc T

PS

I just found my Mom's old ID badge from when she worked at the Pentagon in Washington DC . It was way back when in 1959! I had a really beautiful Mom both physically and spiritually, may she have a beautiful eternity and always rest in peace.

Since we are talking about work related grief I thought I'd share a work ID badge. My Dad died while she was employed there at the Pentagon. I don't know what kind of support she received from co-workers after Dad died.

Dr. Terrie Modesto, PhD, CPT, CAC
Chief Thanatologist and Learning Officer

TEAR CenterWebsite: http://www.tearcenter.com/
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresemodesto
Personal website: http://www.drterriemodesto.com/

What touches life ~ Touches death.
T. Modesto


Cronkite to be Buried in Mo. after NYC Funeral
http://www.1010wins.com/pages/4830171.php?contentType=4&contentId=4368815

NEW YORK (AP) -- Walter Cronkite's final resting place will be next to his late wife in Missouri, where the two first met, his chief of staff said Saturday.

The 92-year-old former CBS anchorman died Friday at his Manhattan home of disease involving blood vessels in the brain, according to Marlene Adler, his longtime chief of staff.

A private funeral service was scheduled for Thursday at St. Bartholomew's Church. Adler said the Rev. William Tully will preside over the Episcopal service at the Park Avenue church, which the Cronkites attended for many years.

A memorial is to be held within the next month in Avery Fisher Hall at the Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts, Adler said.

"It will be a fitting tribute to Mr. Cronkite and the life he lived, the people he knew, the people who loved him and the people he admired," said Adler, who headed Cronkite's staff for the past 20 years.

The Committee to Protect Journalists, an organization that works to safeguard press freedoms worldwide, will post remembrances of Cronkite, an honorary co-chairman, on its blog.
"Whenever press freedom needed a champion, he was there," CPJ board chairman Paul Steiger said. "We will miss him."

Cronkite is to be cremated and his remains buried next to his wife, Betsy Cronkite, in the family plot at a cemetery in Kansas City.

In lieu of flowers, the family is requesting donations to the Walter and Betsy Cronkite Foundation through the AustinCommunityFoundation.org, which will distribute contributions to various charities the couple supported.

New trends in funeral homes ~

Community support with 'coffee-on-the-go'

For those of us over the age of 45, I remember when my local McDonald’s got their first drive-thru window. My elderly, widowed neighbor Mrs. Clare Woodruff (Miss Woodie as kids always affectionately called her) thought it was fantastic to go with her pound pup named Saddie to get a fish sandwich and large fries for lunch every Friday at 11:45AM. You could set your watch by it.

It was the only way Saddie her favorite dog could join her for lunch. Saddie got some of the fries and enjoyed seeing all the people as they sat in the parking lot together. Miss Woodie enjoyed the outing and the attention she got from all people making over her pup as she ordered their lunch. She thought out of the box to meet her and Saddie’s social needs. Miss Woodie was creative in how she met new people and got support after her husband died.

I wonder what Miss Woodie would think of Bowman Funeral Home (http://www.bowmanfh.ca/) in Chatham Ontario offering free coffee on Wednesdays for morning commuters. My hunch is she would approve whole heartedly. Who knows… she might have gone with Saddie for a cup of Joe! You got to admit it’s a creative community outreach. I must also add a much needed outreach.

Serving coffee as positive exposure to a funeral home when death has not occurred is very helpful to those that have death and funeral home anxiety or apprehension. Death is scary, so if there are ways to help reduce that negative perception – then all the better. Besides who can really pass up a really GOOD cup of coffee in the morning even when served from a funeral home to-go site?

The way we express our grief is changing rapidly and creatively. This new 21st century grief expression calls for the funeral home industry to rethink its way of LIVING in the community. Funeral homes need to be more ‘user-friendly’ to use a computer-based term.

Families and various loved ones are seeking personalized ways to express their grief. They want to feel connected to each other and to the site of the funeral ritual. At the Michael Jackson memorial, it was stated that the selection of the memorial venue was directly associated with the fact that only days earlier Michael Jackson was rehearsing his upcoming tour there. The more the positive association with the funeral site by the deceased or by the community membership, the more personal attachment there can be – thus more comfort.

From the earliest of times we know that personalization of grief expression reduces the pain, fear and anxiety that is often associated with death and bereavement rituals. Funeral homes can be great places for that to happen if done correctly.

Funeral homes are now called upon in the 21st century to be places for LIVING instead of just a place for the viewing and funeral ritualizing of the dead. Creative service based funeral homes can help celebrate life as well as help those that grieve to cope with life without their loved one physically present.

Funeral homes that are creative and adaptable to new social trends are much more likely to help families of the 21st century begin to process their grief and loss in healthy ways and meet their everyday life experiences. Offering a cup of coffee on the way to work and school is a great way to begin the relationship process that can help carry a family through the dark days of death and bereavement at some other point later in their lives. It’s not a marketing ploy but a statement of support: ‘If you care enough to offer me a cup of coffee, you will also care for me and my loved one when they die”.

Funeral homes need to stop thinking of them selves as only a place that treats the dead for burial and begin to reflect on how they are a major part of helping the local community live life beyond the death of a significant other. This is the greatest gift a funeral home can offer.

Historically, funeral homes were established as a way to help the mourners have a comfortable place to conduct their funeral ritualization and visitation as well as help reduce the ever increasing death associated anxiety in Western Society. Now the funeral home is called upon again to help families who are grieving to find new meaningful ways of exploring their issues of dying, death and grief.

Offering a cup of coffee to the local community as they drive to work or school is a great method for this funeral home to reach out in a positive way to their community. It’s a lot more personal than just supplying calendars stacked on a shelf in the back of a church for someone to pick up after worship.

Providing grief support services and education is another great way to help those dealing with death related issues personally and professionally. How the funeral home does this will all depend on their local community and individual situation.

I encourage all funeral homes to think not just ‘outside the box’ for marketing purposes but also ‘outside the casket’ of not only death care services but also serving the living long before and after a funeral is necessary.

Miss Woodie thought outside of the box in creating new and friendly ways to meet her widowhood social needs decades ago. Now Bowman Funeral Home has not only thought outside the box but outside the casket to reach out to their local community in a creative and friendly way. Such creative thinking has supportively touched not only their local community but has also taught the world village the importance of support presence beyond the death event.

My hat goes off to Bowman Funeral Home in Chatham Ontario who demonstrates an excellent example of great community out reach. Funeral service is much more than just death service - it is community service to the living. Bowman Funeral Home -- Thank you.


Until our next visit together ~ Enjoy Life!

Doc T

Dr. Terrie Modesto, PhD, CPT, CAC

Chief Thanatologist and Learning Officer

TEAR CenterWebsite:

http://www.tearcenter.com/

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresemodesto

Personal website: http://www.drterriemodesto.com/

What touches life ~ Touches death.
T. Modesto

Free coffee at funeral home drive-through
Published: July 2, 2009 at 11:57 AM
CHATHAM, Ontario

2009, July 2 (UPI) -- A Canadian funeral home in southwestern Ontario is taking a community-friendly trend further by offering free coffee to commuters at a drive-through window.
For the next nine weeks between 7 and 9 a.m. on Wednesdays, drivers can pull up to the window at the Bowman Funeral Home in Chatham for a free cup, the London (Ontario) Free Press reported Thursday.

Manager James MacNeil told the newspaper Wednesday's inaugural giveaway confused some commuters.

"They keep asking us what we are doing -- I just say 'no, really it is free coffee,'" he said. "We just want to reach out in a way that is not spooky or weird the way a funeral home can be."
Rick Ludwig, past-president of the Ontario Funeral Service Association, told the newspaper there is a growing trend of funeral homes becoming more active in communities in ways not associated with death.

Along those lines, MacNeil said his business is also a supporter of the Ontario Senior Games, which will be hosted by Chatham this year.
© 2009 United Press International, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2009/07/02/Free-coffee-at-funeral-home-drive-through/UPI-36151246550275/