Read an interesting blog posting that came through my Google Alert this morning. It very clearly speaks to the pain and adjustments that one must face when there is a transition in life. In this case it is a person moving to another country.
One statement really stood out. The author states:
“I know full well that I will see them again, that with emails and web cams and digital photographs and a million other types of technology, no-one is anywhere that’s too far away these days. But it’s the relationship that has built over time, being there for important things in one another’s lives, being on hand to help and reassure, sharing jokes and stories…these are the day to day things which I’m afraid will fade over time and distance.” (See footnote below)
The impact that occurs when a person who we love and care for deeply dies results often in a loss not only of the person but the interactions that go along with that person in our life. This makes the loss even more intense.
Over this past weekend I visited a dear friend and her mother. We were celebrating her mom’s 81st birthday. I brought along my camcorder and taped several of her fond memories about her early life. The ‘birthday gal’ didn’t realize at first that I wanted to hold on to those special memories. When she realized that I was taping her recollections, she was pleased and delighted that I cared enough to capture those memories for the future. She was touched that she will be remembered and that I wanted to keep them treasured for my lifetime.
One of the greatest fears we as humans often have is that we are afraid that we will not be remembered, that our life will become dust and blow away into nothing. It’s an honest issue for each of us to face. Some have gone to extensive expense to be remembered by endowing libraries and other institutions as well as delighted that perhaps we have a street named after us in our hometown etc.
For those who grieve it is also comforting to have those memories and physical identifications to help us stay connected to our loved one who has died. Many who are grieving the death of Michael Jackson for example are finding comfort in being close to his Hollywood star on a busy street in California. Just being close to the granite tribute etched in concrete is a way to stay a bit closer to their famous entertainer who has died so young in life.
The best tributes we can give to some one is to find creative ways to help them be long remembered after they have died. This week I strongly encourage you to try to find one to help one person be remembered beyond the current moment. It doesn’t have to be big or in-you-face sort of hype. It can mean finding a way to start to collect those live-on memories and tributes of the people that are in our lives.
These tributes may be for those that are still living by taking pictures and videoing their memories. For those that have died, their memory is still important to us and need to be cherish and treasured as well.
Blog referenced
What’s it all about again?
http://becca.essentialwriters.com/2009/07/05/i-cant-stand-losing/
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